My dearest Jillian,
I was once given an assignment to write a letter to my loved ones explaining to them why they had found me, dead of an overdose. Sometimes we are in the wrong places at the wrong times and maybe that day I was where you were supposed to be.
I wonder at your intentions; search your smile for sincerity in the last pictures we took. Did I miss something? Was it all my fault? Or maybe your aim was more innocent, not suicide, just a little taste of numbness. And if that’s what you needed, if the memories became too vivid then I understand.
It’s not enough to say I miss you…my chest harbors an ache that runs throughout, wakes me in the night like the pain of contractions. Only, there’s no birth to expel what’s feeding on me. I remain pregnant with your ghost.
Love you Jelly! Always your Skippy!
Peanut-butter, Jelly Time!!
I’d like to thank Swift Expression for the idea. I first published this post on Swift’s page as a response to one of the writing assignments for a contest that Swift created. This allowed me to honor Jillian as she deserves. Samhain just passed not long ago and I took the picture in the post that day as I was setting up for my ritual. Please check out Swift Expression’s blog at www.tfaswift.wordpress.com and enjoy her creative writing ideas.